Bit Bucket

In retrospect, the worst part about being an electronics whisperer was that I was entirely unprepared for the consequences of walking in on my Blu-Ray Player getting it on with the Tuner.

Seriously, the stuff your electronics do while they think you can’t understand them or hear them? It would blow your mind. Secretly, your laptop is offended by your music selection.  Your iPhone hates your Twitter habit. Your Wii says the rudest things when the Doc from Wii Fit grades you.  The worst? Your car’s engine computer.  ”Ja, what are you waiting for, sie Germans?” in a sardonic and liquid as you move through traffic.

All those times that your electronics just did something inexplicable? They’re judging you.  When your laptop corrupted your browser profile, that was it saying, “Enough with the goddamned Zappos.  You have enough shoes, and I’m suffering here without enough RAM.”  Phone dropped the third straight call?  Subliminal message that drunk-dialling your ex isn’t a good idea. The most crushing, though, is the refrigerator commenting on your cooking.  Always a critic.